Projects are clearing, exams are nearing. Was satisfied with my performance in project work and hope it can pull up my overall marks. I'm just left with 2 more projects which is Engineering System Design as well as Operational Planning & Control. It's now time for some finishing touches. But I'm not all happy over these past two weeks. Not because of school work but on how things are going between me and my baby.

Although we are there for each other practically everyday, mentally i felt that we are drifting apart. Not knowing of the reasons, i kept saying myself is because of school work that both of us are feeling the stress. And now when things are going slow for me right now, i feel bad raising my voice at Beth, i feel bad for losing my temper. But sometimes i cant help it. I wanted to show my apologetic feeling, i just don't know how. Even if i say, will she really understand how i feel?

It came to my realization that she is losing something for me. Yea, I'm sad but I'm trying not to show to her. I don't want her to be sad. I don't like her being sad. Cause everytime i see her sad, i will feel bad, i feel i didn't fulfill my responsibility as being her bf and making her happy. I will be at dead ends on what to do. I will feel i don't understand her, and worst, i don't know what she wants.

Currently, i don't know what to do. Or whether we are still together. I want the truth, I don't want to prolong a relationship that will not be fruitful or has no meaning in it. I don't want someone to be with her for the sake of being with me. I made a decision today. Whatever decision she may make or had made, i will stand by it. Is hard i think, but i don't mind trying. I'm just lacking of love from her that's all. She has her projects and she's busy too. I don't wanna occupy her time, i don't want her to think I'm such an irritant. I just can't wait for school to end. "/